Mediation with a Faith Based Approach follows the same process as any mediation, but the mediator uses a faith-based approach, biblical principles and prayerful discernment. They must follow a similar protocol as a non-Christian mediator, but has the advantage of the greatest Mediator of all, Jesus Christ, as their guide, strength, resource, and influence. They do not rely only on their own book knowledge and wisdom, but also their relationship with the Lord. They know that the only hope for a restored marriage or healed lives is through a personal relationship with the Lord. They also know they are only a vessel that the Lord may choose to use in the process of this family’s life. They know that they represent God in working with the family and not as a judge and jury, but as a missionary of peace, hope and love.
A Christian mediator believes and claims the promise in Jeremiah 29:11 that says,
“…God still has plans for those who love the Lord, plans to give hope and a future.”
Like non-Christian mediation, parties still take on much of the responsibility of defining “fair” for their divorce settlement. This allows for the parties to maintain control over their decisions and give up the option of blaming professionals for imposing an “unfair” settlement upon them, if either should later become dissatisfied. The couple who mediates can reach creative and individualized solutions that fit their unique family situation and needs that align with their beliefs and how they wish to live their life forward. But to do so, they must create and then live by their own working definitions of fairness.
To a large extent, fairness is in the eye of the beholder. Each beholder may have difficulty seeing the reality through the lenses of unspoken preconceptions and assumptions. The mediator will help with clarity and options, and guide through the work to be done.
But at the end of the agreement, mediation will have allowed you – the divorcing spouses – to make clear commitments to one another and decide the course of action going forward. You re-define your new relationship as parents and your financial lives with your accountability for a future versus one being handed down by a judge.
Mediation with a faith based approach allows parties to work through the conflict and dissolution of their marriage while staying aligned with their faith and values and to focus on the next steps with integrity. Typically, Christians that use mediation as their process do not lose sight of the most important assets they possess – their desire to live out their faith and to continue to be the best parents they can be to their children. They do not want to use the typical process of destroying one another and their children any further than has already been done.
Benefits of Not going to court:
- You don’t have to allow your marriage issues to be exposed for court recordings and all to know your “dirty laundry”.
- Settle for the best decision-maker:
- It usually moves quicker and kinder so you can get back to your healing, your family and your future.