Sandra Lee – Divorce Mediator
For 20 years, Sandra Lee has been using her professionalism, personal experience and training as an Advanced Practitioner Divorce Mediator and Divorce Coach with the esteemed International Alternative Conflict of Resolutions organization, Certified Divorce Mediator and Collaborative Divorce Coach through the distinguished International Collaborative Professionals organization and is trained in the practice area of Collaborative Divorce Coach to not only have a successful practice locally, nationally and internationally but also to enable, empower, equip and educate individuals who are divorcing or rebuilding their lives after divorce to make wise, informed decisions. Decisions that can make the difference between outcomes that produce desired results or outcomes that lead to more destruction that will impact those individuals and families in their future for years to come. Sandra Lee has also been training other professionals in these same fields for over eight years to work in the mission field of divorce. Sandra founded Emerge Victorious in 2000 and then Emerge Victorious Productions in 2010.
Sandra Lee’s Approach
Sandra’s first hope is for marriages to be restored to a healthy thriving union but when that doesn’t happen; she works to help people make wise decisions on issues about their next steps.
“I wish I could write a really lovely story of a girl who grew up, got married, had a beautiful wedding, the marriage that followed was wonderful with few issues, the children born of that marriage are almost perfect and the family lived happily ever-after. But I can’t – that is someone else’s story – not mine. I did get married but it was unhealthy and broken before the wedding and it didn’t mend itself through all the fighting and threats. Unfortunately, two boys were born into that marriage and had to experience their parent’s divorce. Believing my ex-husband had most of the problems I wasted little time believing I was ready for marriage #2 and so along came the lucky man. Without healing from childhood wounds and traumas, piling on my first marriage wounds – I was not prepared for blended family and another marriage. But I said, “I do” once again. Blended family was hard (really, really hard), remarriage was also really hard and yet we welcomed a beautiful baby girl. That sweet little girl also experienced her parents going through a divorce and the boys experienced their 2nd family divorce. Divorce is not only one chapter of my life story but two chapters. During this whole time I was leading a women’s ministry, praying, and pretending we were a “perfect” family while we were bleeding to death from little pin holes and big slashes of destructiveness caused in unhealthy marriages. I became really artful at putting on masks to cover up the “real” me. I had so much shame, guilt, regret and feelings of being a total failure. I asked myself over and over how I could put my children through divorce, how could I make it financially, emotionally and spiritually through another divorce, how could I be a single-parent to 3 children, how could God ever forgive me and many other “how coulds” to which I had very few answers. I came to the end of all my self-sabotaging coping mechanisms and was left with the raw and broken woman I was. I prayed for guidance, sought healing and began putting one-step in front of the other on a journey I wasn’t even sure I knew I was on.
That has been many, many years ago now. I can say that those years weren’t peaceful, they hurt (by the way, I tell people I earned my Ph.D. in pain, hurt and disappointment). At the same time I had a lot of encouragement, guidance and wisdom on my divorce journey and I believe those people along my path all helped lead me to the field I have invested in working and journeying with others in for over 17 years now. I recognize the path you are travelling and I know first-hand how invaluable healthy resources were that I had received.
Today, I enjoy spending time with my 3 adult children and my son-in-law, reading, traveling and skiing. I am always on the lookout for the next piece of furniture to be adopted and made part of my home (or a surprise new addition at one of my kid’s homes). I live a life of gratitude (and not just for the good parts of my life but all of my life – the broken, messy, winding roads have all lead me to where I am today) for the privilege and honor of working with individuals and families and seeing them choose to embrace a better and healthier divorce and new beginning with hope a and confidence. You two, can Emerge Victorious!
I look forward to connecting with you.”
A few accomplishments, Sandra Lee is most thankful for:
- Voted as 1 among 10 amazing women who were chosen for their influential impact in their community
The distinguished designation of Advanced Practitioner with Alternative Conflict Resolution. Sandra is one of two who have received this status in North Carolina as one the highest trained and experienced in the field of Family Mediation.
- My work with the American Association of Christian Counselors
Writing both a mediation training manual and creating the Emerge Victorious Divorce Coach Training program and the latest training program for Emerge Victorious Marital Mediation (helping couples use mediation to save their marriage) and educating, empowering and equipping professionals through my training
- Producing the Next Steps After Divorce – A Woman’s Transformational Journey after Divorce video curriculum
- Co-authoring of Emerge Victorious: A Woman’s Transformational Journey after Divorce
- Single parenting 3 great kids in-spite of their parent’s divorce
- My work – people allowing me into their crazy world of divorce and coaching and mediating with them as they navigate that same unknowns of their divorce life
- And probably most importantly, is the privilege and honor of receiving the trust and respect of so many family law attorneys, therapist, financial experts and other collaborative divorce professionals and the hundreds of clients I have worked with
Skills and Training:
Sandra Lee is constantly learning through reading, attending conferences and taking advanced trainings to grow her own “toolbox” of skills as a divorce mediator and coach.
Advance Practitioner as Divorce Mediator with the Association of Conflict Resolution (ACR) organization
Divorce Coach certified through the International Association of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) organization
- Crisis counseling training from Gordon Cornwell Seminary
- Collaborative Law Training as Divorce Coach and case manager
- Bachelors of Arts from North Texas State University
- Off-site training for Liberty University
- Featured expert trainer for the American Association of Christian Counselors
- Author and trainer for the AACC Mediation Certification Course and the Advanced Course for Family Mediation
- Contributing author in The Popular Encyclopedia of Christian Counselors
Sandra Lee’s Memberships and Associations:
Charlotte Collaborative Divorce Professionals (Sandra was one of the early forming board members and served on the board for 8 years)
- North Carolina Bar Association
Advanced Practitioner – Member of the Association of Conflict Resolution (ACR)
- American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy
- International Association of Collaborative Professionals
- American Association of Coaches
- Christian Coaches National Network