Christian Divorce MediationSandra Lee2020-05-20T15:20:09-04:00
Most people will tell you that separation and divorce are the most painful and stressful experiences they’ve ever faced. It’s a confusing time when you feel isolated and have lots of questions about issues you’ve never faced before.
Facing Divorce? You can choose a process that helps you honor your faith, your family, and your future with integrity and hope.
What is Christian Divorce Mediation?
Christian Mediation is faith-based and a gift is given if parties are able to call forth their Christ-like attitudes in the midst of their divorcing struggles. The Christian divorce mediation process isn’t any less effective, structured, thorough, or “turns the other cheek” than traditional Divorce Mediation. It follows the same guidelines and integrity of mediation. Sometimes clients are looking for someone to provide them a Christian Divorce when they really want to use their interpretation of some Bible passage or religious concept in order to gain an advantage, to control their spouse, or to manipulate the outcome. In worse case scenarios some religious people actually use their beliefs in an abusive way to punish or shame someone who is leaving them. I do NOT mediate with clients when this is their agenda.
The mediator is committed to prayerfully seeking discernment and wisdom while facilitating the mediation process.
The mediator and their faith-based approach believes it is the Biblically appropriate way to resolve disputes. As Christians we are to make our best effort to resolve disputes out of court whenever possible.
The Church’s Role in Divorce Mediation
The church is well-trained and empowered to help couples in relationship reconciliation. However, the church in not usually well-trained and educated in how to work with a divorcing couple to dissolve a marriage. So the church often steps away when they hear the word divorce and passively sends their sheep to the secular system to resolve their divorcing issues. This has angered and wounded many members of our church family. But the truth is the church isn’t equipped to properly handle the many aspects of a divorce. What the church should do is send their people to Christian Divorce Mediation where:
Both parties are allowed to assess the strengths and weaknesses of their divorcing issues.
Both parties to be involved in how their parenting responsibilities and financial lives are to be resolved and how they will be able to move forward into the lives God has waiting on them.
With Christian Divorce Mediation, both parties are offered the opportunity to be a part of resolving the conflicts creatively and respectfully while keeping their faith, their well-being, and their families well-being as a top priority.
Christian Divorces can be different because of the parties’ faith and their willingness to:
Acknowledge that they each played a role in the dysfunction and demise of their marriage.
Choose to forgive the other for the shattered dreams as well as the hurtful words and actions that lead them to divorce.
Commit to prioritizing the health and well-being of their children by not making them pawns in the process, putting them in the middle of adult issues, not speaking negatively of the other, and treating one another in a respectful co-parent manner.
Christian Divorce Mediation includes extending grace and practicing peacemaking to the other – and to themselves.
Seek biblical guidance from resources like Focus on the Family offers, “we are committed to providing wisdom in order to navigate through your questions about divorce.” – www.focusonthefamily.com
Of course divorce is hurtful, destructive and emotions run loose so it is no doubt a challenge to keep calling forth your faith during this time. None of us are perfect and God knows that most of all. But when two people work at forgiving, letting go, and behaving in healthy ways empowered by grace and strength from above…a divorce does not need to be battled out in an extended war. Instead, we can facilitate a process that allows believers to make good, healthy decisions for their future can become the first healing steps toward a new and better life.
All things are possible with God and sometimes the redeeming and renewing work of God starts by offering a clean slate offering possibilities following the dissolution of a broken relationship.
“I appreciate your faith based foundation for your mediation. That was refreshing and encouraging. You certainly are very thoughtful and genuine in your dealings and that was very evident with our joint meeting.”
“Our divorce is now final. He married her. I am still picking up the piece of my life and God is putting back together. I am so thankful we were able to have gone through the process with someone who understood and honored how important my Christian beliefs are to me and why the hurt was so painful. Thank you and God Bless You.”
“We know God hates divorce and we know how the church feels about divorce but we could no longer live in our marriage. We was so thankful to find a process that understands we are still Christians even though we are going through divorce. The integrity of mediation remained but there was also a peace and grace that was present.”